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Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples, 20th Anniversary Edition, by Harville Hendrix
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Originally published in 1988, Getting the Love You Want has helped millions of couples attain more loving, supportive, and deeply satisfying relationships. The 20th anniversary edition contains extensive revisions to this groundbreaking book, with a new chapter, new exercises, and a foreword detailing Dr. Hendrix’s updated philosophy for eliminating all negativity from couples’ daily interactions, allowing readers of the 2008 edition to benefit from his ongoing discoveries during his last two decades of work.
Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., in partnership with his wife, Helen LaKelly Hunt, PhD., originated Imago Relationship Therapy, a unique healing process for couples, prospective couples, and parents. Together they have more than thirty years’ experience as educators and therapists and their work has been translated into more than 50 languages, with Imago practiced by two thousand therapists worldwide. Harville and Helen have six children and live in New York and New Mexico.
- Sales Rank: #1202 in Books
- Brand: Hendrix, Harville
- Published on: 2007-12-26
- Released on: 2007-12-26
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.02" h x .99" w x 5.28" l, .75 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 384 pages
Review
“Hendrix provides much insight into how spouses can mature through one another.” ―Booklist
“Harville Hendrix offers the best program I've seen for using the love/hate energy in marriage to help a couple heal one another and to become whole together.” ―T. George Harris, Editor-in-Chief, American Health
“I know of no better guide for couples who genuinely desire a maturing relationship.” ―M. Scott Peck, author of The Road Less Traveled
“Getting the Love You Want is a remarkable book--the most incisive and persuasive I have ever read on the knotty problems of marriage relationships.” ―Ann Roberts, former president, Rockefeller Family Fund
“Getting the Love You Want provides a road map for partners seeking a path to intimacy and passionate friendship.” ―Marion Solomon, Ph.D.
“This book will help any couple find the love they want hidden under all the concealing confusion of a close and intimate relationship. I have seen these principles in application and they work!” ―James A. Hall, M.D.
About the Author
Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., has more than thirty years of experience as an educator, public lecturer, and therapist. His work has been translated into more than fifty languages and Imago Therapy is practiced in thirty countries. Hendrix and his wife, Helen LaKelly Hunt, are the co-creators of Imago Relationship Therapy. They have six children and live in New Jersey and New Mexico.
From AudioFile
A revision of a twenty-year-old classic offers insights on love attachments and powerful exercises for couples. The author's approach to couples therapy says that when people work through their childhood disappointments, they can connect with their partners more happily and securely. Building on a rich foundation of ideas about the emotional and cultural contexts of good partnerships, the author teaches communication skills that promote emotional safety, fix common dysfunctions, and allow people to become more giving with each other. Jack Garrett's vocal quality and nuanced dramatic skills are perfect for the emotional narrative as well as its prescriptive aspects. His genuine interpretation is steady enough to provide continuity and varied enough to keep listeners engaged throughout. T.W. © AudioFile 2008, Portland, Maine
Most helpful customer reviews
142 of 156 people found the following review helpful.
20 Years Later
By NURsesRUN
Two decades ago, while I was enduring the aftermath of a divorce, an acquaintance "tricked" me into reading this book. (That's an interesting story, but for another time.)
I had heard it said that unless we understand why we married our first spouse, we were almost certainly doomed to remarry the "same person". That I did NOT want to do. So, in order to avoid that dreadful prospect, I began reading this book.
At first I was appalled at Hendrix's explanation of why I had chosen my first wife. In fact, I was so offended (and frightened) by what he said, that I almost threw away the book. However, I was just desperate enough to keep reading. And, I am certainly thankful I did. By the end of the book, I was convinced Hendrix was absolutely right in his explanation of love (as a mental process) and why we choose whom we choose.
Twenty years later, I can testify that I am still indebted to this book. It has helped me avoid a number of HORRIBLE mistakes that I was initially inclined to make.
I would also advise anyone who will listen to read this book. Read it as if you're a single person, even if you're married. Read it if you want to understand why you make the decisions you make. Read it if you want to avoid multiple failures in relationships and all sorts of life-changing decisions.
As Solomon wrote: "The mind of the wise seeks knowledge. But the mouth of the fool feeds on folly." (Proverbs 15.14) This book might just be the first meal of wisdom you need.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
A life and relationship changing book. How to help each other heal, instead of hurt.
By Michelle J
This excellent book is by far one of THE most enlightening guides on relationships for couples. I was blown away when I listened to it on CD three years ago, being in between relationships. And now, reading it while actually in a relationship is the BEST gift I have given to myself and my partner. ALL relationships are headed in this direction and doomed to fail if one or both people are not conscious of the unconscious, natural process of attraction described in this book. The skills of awareness, and how to communicate, and how to put into ACTION the healing, relating process are invaluable. The best part is that this 20th anniversary edition is the most up to date, improved version that is supported by actual stories of success. At the very least, this book is also an excellent tool to raise anyone's level of consciousness about any type of relationship attraction or interaction. If all the people on the planet were aware of these principles, we could relate to each other in a healing way, instead of hurting each other. A MUST READ. Yet, if you are able to listen while driving long distances or working around the house, the CDs are also excellent.
115 of 130 people found the following review helpful.
Narrow View
By GTO
The upside to this book is that it should get couples to discuss their issues openly. The downside is that Hendrix has his narrow philosophy about where all marriage problems come from, and then conveniently interprets every relational problem within this philosophy. Hendrix's main belief is that we are all looking for partners that will give us what we did not receive from our childhood primary caregivers. Though this may be true in certain cases, to make this the only source of issues in relationships is very simplistic. Relationships are complicated. Simple answers are seldom appropriate. However, this book will get you to think about your relationship and hopefully help you to get to the true root of your relational issues.
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